St Gregory's Brasserie & Courtyard @ Grand Plaza Parkroyal

Late Buffet "Tunch"

• Various Penang Hawker Fare including (correct me if my spelling is off) Prawn Mee, Assam/Penang Laksa, Char Kway Teow, Oyster Omelet, Rojak, Satay (mutton and chicken, though I only tried the latter), Ban Chang Kueh
• Sushi and Desserts (the stuff you'd expect at any international buffet)
• Ice Kachang
• Teh Tarik

First of all, if you look very closely, I indeed paid twenty-eight bucks for a "Weekend Tunch". (If you're not convinced, click here for a close-up to see for yourself.) How oddly Hongkie-like of them, but of course, I'm quite sure this sign was done by a Singie.

Being a Sunday, the place was really crowded and once again, my claustrophobia kicked in, thanks to the tightly spaced tables and noisy atmosphere. I have to say I spent most of the time in queues waiting for the food to be prepared. I guess this has its good and bad points, the advantage being that since each food item is prepared in front of you at a station before you bring it back to your table, it's always piping hot. Anyways, I'm not a big fan of Malay food to begin with, so I probably didn't know how to appreciate some of the dishes there, and this review is based on the foods' raw taste to me. That is, simply "did I like it, or didn't I?" And as with all buffet reviews, I shan't go into dishes that aren't worth mentioning - only the ones on either extreme.

The first thing I went for was the sushi. Why, I don't know. Maybe it was because all the other foods had queues in front of them. Anyways, it's impossible to screw up sushi, so there's no way I could go wrong. The sushi turned out horrible but passable. The rice was clearly refrigerated overnight, because as you chewed through a piece, the rice ball breaks up into individual grains, each dry and hard.

Then, I went for a bowl of Prawn Mee. The odd thing about this was that you had to put the prawns in yourself after they give you a plain bowl of noodles in hot soup. So technically, it was just mee. I put a bit of everything in it - a few prawns (which were shrimp small), some cucumbers and lettuce, a bit of onions and fried garlic, a mint leaf, etc. It wasn't half bad, though the soup was a bit weak. The portion was also pathetically small, and I ended up queuing for another bowl. I also tried a bowl of Assam Laksa (noodles), but after one bowl, I was already sweating from the spiciness of the soup. I didn't really like this version of Laksa because of its sour taste.

I met Kory while queuing for the second time for Prawn Mee; just turned around and there he was. Haha... Such a small world this is. If you're reading this, Kory, please do leave your own comments on the buffet.

On to the Char Kuay Teow. This was prepared by a chef outside in the courtyard section of the restaurant. (While watching, I learned that it is best to add the soya sauce bit by bit when frying noodles, instead of all at one go. Hmm...) I asked that he leave out the chili and sea humps, which left the prawns, bean sprouts, Chinese sausage, egg and Hor Fun noodles as the main ingredients. The noodles were good, with a soft texture and thinner and flatter than normal Hor Fun.

Of course, I was lucky to have been able to ask for no chili in this dish, but most of the others did have a certain degree of spiciness to them. I washed all these down with Teh Tarik, which like the other items were freshly prepared. Unfortunately, the "award-winning" pourer wasn't present that day and I had to contend with hotel staff. But still, it looked relatively easy. All you do is pour hot water through a sock-like filter filled with tea powder several times, using different containers, and add evaporated and condensed milk. The tea was sweet and strong, reminding me a bit of the Nai Cha in Hong Kong, but with a distinctly middle-eastern flavor to it instead of the Chinese tea flavor you get in Nai Cha. Anyways, besides the fact that it tasted really good, it also help suppress the hot spices of the other dishes (see sidebar).

Alas, it was time for dessert. I thought I'd start with the normal buffet fare and then end off with the Ban Chang Kueh (this crisp paper-thin pancake folded into half, wrapping a delicious mixture of nuts, sugar and butter inside), which was oh so appetizing as I stared at the chef in the tall white hat preparing it at the station. The smell was just addictive. Save the best for last, I always say.

So, I innocently went to their "international" dessert table to take a gander. They had a medium-sized display of log-cakes, puffs, pastries and bonbons which didn't seem beyond fit for trying. Then I spotted one of those silver "high tea" vessels (I can't really think of any other word for it; receptacle would be the next best) with those sliding covers to keep food warm in. Just in front of it was a little tag marked 'Bread and butter pudding', which made me think, "That's nice. They have bread and butter pudding. Something for the anti-chocolates like myself." I opened the cover and *gasp* - right in front of me is a mass of blackish-brown bread and butter pudding! I couldn't believe my eyes. Who in the right frame of mind makes chocolate bread and butter pudding?! Perhaps this is just my anti-chocolate side speaking, but still...

With no other choice, I head back to the Ban Chang Kueh station and try to forget the blackish-brown mass. Every second spent standing in front of the heated pan-shaped, um, pans, eagerly watching them pour the eggy batter onto it, putting a healthy spoonful of filling into the center and then folding it in half just as the batter turned a crisp golden brown, made me want it all the more. As I bit into it, the taste of peanutty goodness resonated through my body. This wasn't your normal peanut butter sensation; you could practically feel the fragrant peanut oils in your mouth, going down your throat and into your bloodstream. It was extremely overwhelming, so much so that the hint of burnt batter didn't faze me at all. The eggy taste of the outer layer went well with the filling, neutralizing the overall sweetness of the piece.

All in all, however, the buffet proved to be of a similar standard to the spelling on the signboard. It all looked okay from afar, but as you took a closer look (or taste), you knew there's something off.

Total cost: S$28++
Rating: aaaaa

Sidebar: I've never liked spicy food. I think it's what is Chinese culture known as ri qi, or as the Singaporeans like to call it, "heatiness". It may feel nice and warm inside to eat kimchi in Korea, but in tropical Singapore, hot foods can be hard to bear. Which is why I've tried very hard to find a way to overcome this. And here's the best method I've found.

When eating spicy food, in order to avoid having that "heaty" aftertaste last in your mouth, have a glass of milk or Chinese tea (preferably nai cha) handy, to wash down the taste. Scientifically, this is due to the fact that the hotness of foods is derived from spicy oil-based chemicals which tend to linger in your mouth. Drinking water only helps minimally because oil is insoluble in water - warm water is better, but still rather ineffectual. A better way is to find an oil-soluble solvent to wash down the spicy oils, away from the sensitive taste buds of the mouth. Milks works best in this case, because oil is highly soluble in it. Soya bean milk and milk teas should also do the trick.

If you guys out there know of any other solution, please do leave a reply in the comments section.